"HANDLE WITH CARE" by Becky Hemsley

"HANDLE WITH CARE"
by Becky Hemsley

Every woman I know has, at one point or another,

sobbed in the shower

cried in the car

swallowed down tears in the supermarket

and broken down in the bathroom.

And then she has dried her eyes, lifted her head, taken a deep breath and carried on.

She has walked into work

or in through the front door

or into the store or the coffee shop or the hair salon.

And she has smiled and chatted to people so that no one would know she’d been crying.

And I’m not reminding us of this to say

“look how strong we are to pull ourselves together when we are falling apart”.

Although that still stands.

I’m reminding us how easy it is to paint on a brave face so that other people are none the wiser.

So whilst it might not have been you sitting in the car park crying this morning, it might have been that woman who sits three desks down from you.

Whilst it might not have been you sobbing in the shower before getting the kids ready for school this morning, it might have been their teacher. Or another parent on the school run.

Whilst you might have gotten round the supermarket without being on the verge of tears today, it might not be the same for the person working the till. Or the person behind you in the queue.

Everyone wears their brave face in public.

And we’ll never really know just how many people around us have pulled themselves together with the thinnest of threads each morning. How many people are ready to fall apart again at any point.

But compassion strengthens those threads.

Compassion is powerful.

Because even when no one can see it,

even when no one can hear it…

They can feel it.

******

Becky Hemsley 2023

Beautiful artwork by Danielle Coursol

‘Handle with Care’ is from my fourth collection which can be found here:

https://a.co/d/97OIz9l

*I wrote this from experience which is why it says 'woman', but I'm sure it applies to many men too

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"CAPABLE CHILDREN" by Brooke Hampton

"CAPABLE CHILDREN"
by Brooke Hampton

I posted a photo of our 13-year-old doing her end of the month calculations. She handles our household grocery budget each month. I was shocked at how many messages I got telling me she was too young to have so much responsibility. They labelled me a lazy mom and I took it as a compliment (though I’m not sure that’s how it was meant lol).

I’m purposefully lazy and my kids are thriving because of it. I have more energy than most, I could easily handle everything for them but I don’t because I want them to learn to do it for themselves.

I love the harsh, judgmental looks and comments I get from other parents when they see my kids doing things deemed “too hard” for them. “What a lazy mom. Those poor kids,” they whisper. Yea, well they can judge me all they want but I’m preparing my kids to not need me. And I personally believe that’s the greatest gift I can give them.

I think we severely underestimate our children. They are far more capable and dependable than we will allow them to be. Most of us are over-scheduled control freaks and we don’t create the time we need to let our kids try and fail and then try again. We’re too busy to be lazy and it’s hurting our kids. Children that are treated like they are capable become capable.

And it starts small…it starts with the toddler who wants to help do the dishes and you end up with a tsunami in your dish room or the 4-year-old who wants to take the trash out when you’re on our way out the door- it takes 20 minutes instead of the 2 it would have taken you because the trash bag is the same size as them, it got a hole in it cause it was dragging the ground and you pretty much have to sanitize their whole body now cause they’ve somehow managed to touch every part of the trash bag. Now you’re late for your appointment but your kid is feeling empowered and damn it, that needs to be worth it.

It takes patience and determination to be a lazy parent. Because the way they do it won’t be perfect (at first), they’ll make ungodly messes, it will be crooked and mismatched, things will break, and it will likely take 4 times longer than if you just did it yourself. And it’s hard to watch them struggle, we love them and we want to make life easy for them. But life isn’t easy, it’s f**king hard and we are doing them a great disservice when we don’t let them struggle and prove to themselves that they are little bad asses.

I’ve noticed a lot of people wait because they are going to get hurt, they don’t have time or they like their house to stay looking magazine worthy and a 3-year-old learning to organize their own space or make their own breakfast has rough edges.

The struggle is real, but you simply need to get over it because raising capable adults doesn’t start at age 16 when they can’t do anything for themselves, it starts at age 3 when they need you to back off and let them make a tsunami in your dish room.

Do yourself and your kids a favour and be a lazy parent. Back off and let them try.

Brooke Hampton,

‘lazy mom of three wildly capable humans’

Credit: Barefoot Five

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"SHE WAS MADE BEAUTIFUL" by Suzanne Reynolds

"SHE WAS MADE BEAUTIFUL"
by Suzanne Reynolds

When she was a little girl

they told her she was beautiful

but it had no meaning

in her world of bicycles

and pigtails

and adventures in make-believe.

Later, she hoped she was beautiful

as boys started taking notice

of her friends

and phones rang for

Saturday night dates.

She felt beautiful on her wedding day,

hopeful with her

new life partner by her side

but, later,

when her children called

her beautiful,

she was often exhausted,

her hair messily tied back,

no make up,

wide in the waist

where it used to be narrow;

she just couldn't take it in.

Over the years, as she tried,

in fits and starts,

to look beautiful,

she found other things

to take priority,

like bills

and meals,

as she and her life partner

worked hard

to make a family,

to make ends meet,

to make children into adults,

to make a life.

Now,

she sat.

Alone.

Her children grown,

her partner flown,

and she couldn't remember

the last time

she was called beautiful.

But she was.

It was in every line on her face,

in the strength of her arthritic hands,

the ampleness that had

a million hugs imprinted

on its very skin,

and in the jiggly thighs and

thickened ankles

that had run her race for her.

She had lived her life with a loving

and generous heart,

had wrapped her arms

around so many to

to give them comfort and peace.

Her ears had

heard both terrible news

and lovely songs,

and her eyes

had brimmed with,

oh, so many tears,

they were now bright

even as they dimmed.

She had lived and she was.

And because she was,

she was made beautiful. ********

Suzanne Reynolds

Art: Webers Art

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"THE INCREDIBLE BABY BOOMERS"

"THE INCREDIBLE BABY BOOMERS"
(author unknown)

"Many have passed away, and those who are still here are called

'the elderly.'

We were born in the 40s-50s-60s.

We grew up in the 50's-60's-70's

We studied in the 60s-70s-80s.

We were together in the 70s-80s-90s.

We got married or not and discovered the world in the 70s-80s-90s.

Adventuring into the 80s - 90s

We're settling in to the 2000s.

We became wiser in 2010s.

And we’re going strong into 2020s and beyond.

Turns out we went through EIGHT different decades...

TWO different centuries...

TWO different millennials ...

We've gone from phone with operator for long distance calls, pay booths, land lines and video calls worldwide.

We’ve gone from slides to YouTube, vinyl's to online music, handwritten letters to emails and WhatsApp.

Live games on the radio, black and white TV, colour TV, then HD 3D TV.

We went to the video store and now watching Netflix.

We've known the first computers, punch cards, disks and now we have gigabytes and megabytes on our smartphones.

We wore shorts all through our childhood, then trousers, ep pants or mini-skirts, Oxfords, Clarks, Palestinian scarves, jumpsuits, and blue jeans.

We avoided childhood paralysis, meningitis, poliomyelitis, tuberculosis, swine flu and now COVID-19.

We've done roller skating, roller skating, tricycle, bicycle, moped, gasoline or diesel, gears and automatic, and now we drive hybrids or electric.

We played with the little ones

horses and checkers, ostrich and marbles, 1000 threshold and monopoly, now there's candy crush on our smartphones

And we read... much

And our schoolmates religion was not a subject...

We used to drink tap water and lemonade in glass bottles, and the vegetables on our plate were always fresh, today we get meals frozen and delivered

Yes, we have been through a lot but what a beautiful life we have had!

They might describe us as “ex-annuals”; people who were born in this 50's world, who had an analogue childhood and digital adulthood.

We should add the Biological Revolution that we have witnessed. In 1960, biology was very descriptive. We have witnessed the event of Molecular Biology: the molecules of Life have been discovered: DNA, RNA etc. When you see everything that has come from it: gene therapy, gene fingerprints, and others the progress is considerable.

We kind of have "seen it all"!

Our generation has literally lived and witnessed more than any other in every dimension of life.

This is our generation that has literally adapted to "CHANGE".

A big congratulations to all the members of a very special generation, which will always be be UNIQUE.. "

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"THOUGHTS" by Joanne Boyle

"THOUGHTS" by Joanne Boyle

She was often seen playing,

humming the same old tune.

On a sandy shore,

every single afternoon.

No one knew what she hummed.

Or what it was she played,

and no matter what the weather

still, she always stayed.

She wore a crown of flowers.

They sat upon her head.

Many passers by would stop,

but nothing was ever said.

They had all heard the story.

People travelled from afar,

but what no one else could see

was the memories in each star.

She played with them accordingly

She never went away.

She was in someone's thoughts

every single day.

The tune that she was humming,

helped their hearts to beat.

In the remembrance of her dance

that brought them to their feet.

The flowers were her halo,

and they never ever died.

They were watered every day

with all the tears that are cried.

The memories would change,

but the stars remained the same.

Sometimes they shone so brightly

before they dimmed again.

She was happy in her world.

A one where she never left.

Living in the hearts,

of those she left bereft.

Author Joanne Boyle ~ Heartfelt

Art ~ Steffi Krenzek

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"THE WATCH STRAP AND THE COMB"

"THE WATCH STRAP AND THE COMB"
(author unknown)

Once upon a time, there was a humble man who lived with his beloved wife. Though their means were modest, their love for each other was boundless.

One day, the wife, with her beautiful long hair, gently asked her husband if he could buy her a comb. She longed for a simple gift that would help her hair grow even more lovely and keep it neatly groomed.

With a heavy heart, the man regretfully declined, explaining that he didn’t even have enough money to repair the broken strap on his watch. Though disappointed, the wife didn’t press her request any further.

Determined to bring a smile to her face, the man went to work and, on his way, passed by a watch shop. He made a heartfelt decision to sell his broken watch at a fraction of its worth. With the small amount of money he received, he bought a beautiful comb for his wife.

When he returned home that evening, he eagerly presented the comb to his wife, only to find her with a new, short haircut. In her hands was a shiny new watch band.

They looked at each other, and tears of joy streamed down their faces—not because of the sacrifices they had made, but because of the profound love they shared. In that moment, they understood the true essence of their devotion.

MORAL: Loving someone is beautiful, being loved is wonderful, but loving and being loved by the one you cherish is everything. Never take love for granted.

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