Mama, can you spray the perfume?

“Mama, can you spray the perfume?” (author unknown)

Each and every morning, with tears In her eyes, she would ever so quietly ask for a spray of my perfume. Her favourite perfume of mine.

As she slowly got dressed for school each morning, the struggle was encroaching her and becoming more and more real.

The struggle was enveloping her and making her chest tighten, while fighting so hard with the ever impending monster consuming her…

anxiety.

The subtle spray of my perfume, embedded within one of my scarves, would carry her through the day. The long arduous day of school for this little girl was overwhelming.

But the simplicity of spraying perfume on her wrist or on a scarf eased her mind for just a moment.

We had the same ritual each morning.

She would ask for a spritz and I would spray the perfume on her, then on me, and reassure her we would be thinking of one another. And each time she was having a hard time or missing me to simply smell her wrist or snuggle into the scarf.

She could rest her weary head on the cotton and breathe in my scent to transcend to a place far away from where her anxiety would take her.

Years of perfume, years of scarves, years of worry each morning and many years of her big sister walking her to the classroom.

As her small foot crossed the threshold into the colourful room filled with charts and inspirational posters, she entered a world which caused her fear.

A fear she had to face for seven long hours…

A fear of not seeing her mama.

A fear of not seeing her twin who was in the room next to her.

As anxiety took hold of my little girl, within the building up the road, my mama heart ached.

Now, years later, each time I get a gentle whiff of the particular perfume, which soothed her soul, I am transported back to that chapter of her life.

As I gaze at her now, I’m in awe. I see a young woman filled with strength and resilience, composure and a profound ability to calm down others when their anxiety peaks.

Her strength and determination is remarkable and she knows deep in her soul a little piece of home is always available carry her through the day and lots and lots of mama’s perfume.

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