WHEN YOU HAVE A DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOTHER by Becky Hemsley

"WHEN YOU HAVE A DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOTHER"

by Becky Hemsley 2023

From the moment we start to grow, we are connected to our mothers.

Joined by a cord - a lifeline - that nourishes us, grows us, nurtures us.

And then we come into this world and the cord is cut, replaced by an unbreakable bond of love between mother and child that continues to nourish and nurture and help us grow.

But what happens if that bond is broken? What happens if it never really forms?

What happens if your mother could not or would not love you in the way you needed and deserved to be loved? The way you realise now you should have been loved.

Well… you grieve.

You grieve in a way that is hard to explain and painful to articulate.

You grieve for someone who is still here.

You grieve for the bond you wish you’d known.

You grieve for the times you were starved of affection or hungry for love.

You grieve whilst clinging to the end of that rope, that cord, that bond which should have been unbreakable. But wasn’t.

And now you are left holding a broken piece of your inner child. Of your heart and of your soul.

The most complicated losses to bear are the whispers of what

should have,

could have

been.

The echoes of

the unfinished,

the unresolved.

So yes, you grieve.

But you also break the cycle.

You build unbreakable bonds with those you love.

You nurture them and you nourish them.

You feed their hearts and souls with love.

And in doing so,

you begin to feed you own soul too.

You learn how it feels to be loved without expectation. Without transaction. Without stipulations and provisos and conditions.

And slowly, you start to heal that child within.

And you start to realise that, whilst it is not what should have been,

this loss is now what has to be.

It is a loss you have to bear,

a loss you have to grieve,

in order to learn how to love yourself

To love yourself the way you always should have been loved,

right from the beginning.

Unconditionally.

******

Words Becky Hemsley 2023

https://www.facebook.com/talkingtothewild

Poignant artwork by Robert Dowling Jr.

Ahead of Mother's Day in the USA - for all those that need this.

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