"ERICA AND HER SHOW N TELL"

"ERICA AND HER SHOW N TELL"
(author unknown)

I’ve been teaching for around fifteen years now. I have two kids of my own, but the best birth story I’ve ever heard actually happened in my own second-grade classroom a few years ago.

I’ve always loved show-and-tell, so I make sure to include it in my class. It helps the kids get over any shyness and gives them a chance to share something they’re excited about. Most of the time, it’s pretty standard stuff—pet turtles, model airplanes, a picture of a fish they caught. I never put any restrictions on what they bring in; as long as they can carry it and talk about it, they’re good to go.

One day, Erica, a bright, outgoing girl, took her turn. She waddled up to the front with a pillow stuffed under her sweater, holding a photo of a new born. “This is Luke, my baby brother,” she announced. “And I’m going to tell you all about his birthday.”

She began by explaining, “First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love. Then Dad put a seed in Mom’s tummy, and Luke grew in there. He ate through an umbrella cord for nine months.”

At this point, she was standing with her hands on her “belly,” and I was doing my best to keep a straight face. The other kids were completely captivated.

“Then, about two Saturdays ago,” she continued, “my Mom started going, ‘Oh, oh, oh, oh!’” She put her hand on her back, waddling back and forth, groaning. “She walked around the house like that for an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’”

By now, Erica was doing a hilarious duck walk, and I wished I had my camcorder.

“My Dad called the middle wife,” she explained, “who delivers babies but doesn’t have a car sign like Domino’s.” She demonstrated how they got her mom into bed.

“Then, pop! Mom had a bag of water in there in case he got thirsty, and it just exploded all over!” She spread her legs and mimed water spraying everywhere, and I was trying not to lose it.

“The middle wife kept saying, ‘Push, push,’ and ‘Breathe, breathe,’” she went on. “They started counting, but they never got past ten. And then, out came my brother! He was covered in yucky stuff they said was from Mom’s play center. I guess there are a lot of toys in there! Then the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there in the first place.”

With a big theatrical bow, Erica returned to her seat, and I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Since that day, whenever it’s show-and-tell time, I always bring my camcorder—just in case another “middle wife” story comes along.

So now, you have two choices…laugh and close this page or share it with someone else for a good laugh. I know what I did!

Live each day like it’s your last chance to make someone laugh.

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