"I FOUND MY PEACE"
by Joanne Boyle
I heard that awful news today
as you stood beside my bed. 
Although I had prepared myself, 
for all the things you said. 
I wanted you to go away. 
I wanted the life I'd known.
I wanted yesterday. 
Yet still you stood there screeching, 
scratching at my brain. 
Running over my ever after
with the wheels of your steam train. 
I am not sure if you saw me cry, 
or did I wait for you to go? 
I tried to cover my ears, 
because I didn't want to know. 
I heard everything you said.
I just didn't comprehend.
So I played my childhood game.
The one where I pretend. 
I thought a thousand thoughts. 
I wondered what I'd done.
I looked towards the door. 
Maybe I could run. 
Then I thought of my family. 
My children of the Earth. 
So I looked you in the eye, 
and remembered my self worth. 
I was not afraid of anything, 
as much as leaving you behind. 
Who would be there to guide you
when something was on your mind?
So then I found my peace
with the life I got to own. 
Cancer will not defeat me. 
This illness I disown.