"My Father Once Told Me"

"My Father Once Told Me" (author unknown)

"If someone hurts you, forgive them, but never forget what they’ve done."

It was a mantra I carried with me, a reminder each time I met someone new or let someone into my life. But over time, it became exhausting. It’s draining when you extend kindness, only to be met with betrayal. It’s heart breaking to admire someone, only to find they’ve been talking behind your back.

One day, frustrated, I asked my father,

“Do they even deserve my forgiveness?”

He smiled, folding the newspaper he had been reading—a part of his daily routine after checking the mail.

“Child, everyone deserves forgiveness. If someone wrongs you once, forgive them. If they do it again, give them another chance. But if they hurt you a third time, then it’s time to forgive yourself.”

I must have looked puzzled because he chuckled, handing me a piece of candy as he gently clasped my hands.

“Forgive yourself for believing in them, for trusting too easily. Forgive yourself for giving them another chance when you thought things might change. And most importantly, forgive yourself enough to set yourself free—free from hatred, from revenge, and from the weight of your past.”

The next morning, I found my father in tears, sitting in front of my mother. His best friend of ten years had betrayed him. I asked him if he was angry, and once again, he smiled, shaking his head.

“My heart has no room for hatred. I don’t deserve to carry that burden. I’ve forgiven him, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten. The next time he sees me smiling, despite everything, he’ll understand who really suffered between us.”

Wiping his eyes with his favourite handkerchief—the one I’d given him for his birthday—he added,

“The best gift you can give to someone who’s hurt you is letting them see you live a better life despite it. We only have one life, so don’t waste it on people who’ve left scars on your heart. Let them see what they lost, and how, in their own way, they helped you grow.”

It was then that I realized, without his words, I might still be haunted by things that were never my fault

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