THE CORNER 4 WOMEN

Sunday 24 September 2023

Afterparty by Becky Hemsley

Afterparty (author Becky Hemsley)

I held a party the other week and grief came.

She wasn’t invited but she came anyway - barged her way in through the door and settled down like she was here to stay.

And then she introduced me to the friends she’d brought with her - Anger. Fear. Frustration. Guilt. Hopelessness.

And they sang in the loudest voices, took up space in every corner of the room and spoke over anyone else that tried to talk.

They made it messy and loud and uncomfortable.

But finally, they left.

And long afterwards, when I was all alone,

I realised there was still someone here.

Quietly clearing up after the rest.

I asked who she was and she told me, “Love.”

And I assumed that’s why she looked familiar - because I had met her before.

“Or perhaps,” she said, “it’s because I’ve been here the whole time.”

And I was confused then because I hadn’t seen her all evening.

But when I looked more closely,

when I looked into her eyes,

I realised quietly that she had been here.

All the time.

She’d just been dressed as grief.

*****

Becky Hemsley 2023

Image created with Dall-E

Sometimes it helps to remember that underneath our grief, there is love. It was there before, it’s there now and it will still be there afterwards.

Love endures like nothing else can.

‘Afterparty’ is from the book When I Am Gone

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CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE

CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE (author unknown)

YES INDEED CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL BORN IN 1930's, 1940's, 50's, 60's, 70's and Early 80's !!! First, you survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a tin, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, your baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints. You had no childproof lids on medicine ..medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when you rode your bikes, you had no helmets, not to mention, the risks you took hitch-hiking .. As children, you would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a van - loose - was always great fun. You drank water from the garden hosepipe and NOT from a bottle. You shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. You ate cakes, white bread and real butter and drank pop with sugar in it, but you weren't overweight because......

YOU WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

You would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach you all day. And you were OK. You would spend hours building your go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out you forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, you learned to solve the problem . You did not have Play stations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no text messaging, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........

YOU HAD FRIENDS and you went outside and found them! You fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents you played with worms(well most boys did) and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. You made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although you were told it would happen, you did not poke out any eyes. You rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them! Local teams had try outs and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing you out if you broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. You had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and you learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! And YOU are one of them!

CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were

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LIVING WITH THEM

LIVING WITH THEM (author Cody Bret)

Quite a few people think that living as a couple is always sunshine and rainbows, but this is the real reality.

Living with the person you love is not what everyone thinks it is.

You don’t wake up every morning to have breakfast together in bed every time the sun rises.

You don't always cuddle in bed together until you fall sleep peacefully every night.

Its not always having the house perfectly clean and having a home cooked meal at the end of each day.

Living with the person you love is arguing over the simplest of things, like who forgot to take out the trash or who's turn is it to do the dishes.

Or who spent "X" amount of money on something that wasn't a necessity.

And the list goes on....

But despite everything.....

At the end of the day you expect to go home to that special person every single day because you know they love and care about you more than words can describe.

It's about laughing together until you cry.

Its about cooking dinner together and talking about your life goals with each other.

It's about.... if one of you had a terrible day at work, your partner decides to sit next to you, hugs you and tells you that everything will be perfectly fine.

Living with the person you love isn't always easy but it's also having a love that many people spend all their lives looking for.

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Saturday 23 September 2023

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Emanuele Grandi's moving poem

dedicated to our four-legged friends.

"If you are afraid of having given me few caresses, you should know that I have not forgotten even one.

If you regret having scolded me even once, you should know that I don't even remember it.

If you think you've left me alone for too long, you should know that I've always been waiting for you.

If you are afraid of having spent little time with me, you should know that I, even that little, have enjoyed every moment.

If you think you've played little with me, you should know that I've never counted the times you threw the ball at me.

If you think I've forgotten about your perfume, you should know that even now I'm smelling it in the wind.

If you wanted to be reborn in another life, you should know that I would like to be your puppy in that one too.

If you are convinced that you have some flaws, you should know that for me you have been the perfect one.

If you believe that love can have an end, you should know that in my heart the place of love is infinite.

If you think you have regrets about me, you should know that I would not change a single second of the life I have spent with you.

If you think I no longer hear your voice when you call me, just entrust the sunset breeze with the task of bringing me your words.

If you think I can forget your face, you should know that I wanted to live alone to enjoy your look.

If you think I could have loved someone more than you, you should know that I have loved you more than myself.

If you think I would like a soft sofa, know that with you I would also have slept on the stones.

If you think I wanted more than you gave me, you should know that I've always felt

like the happiest puppy in the world.

If you have ever felt alone, you should know that I have never left my place next to you.

If you think my life has been short, you should know that I wouldn't have wanted to live a minute longer if I hadn't spent it by your side.

If you are afraid that I am no longer near you, know that as soon as you close your eyes I will fall asleep next to you.

If you think you have not made the right decision, you should know that I have always trusted you.

Always.”

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DEPRESSION TIPS

DEPRESSION TIPS (author unknown)

Shower. Not a bath, a shower.

Use water as hot or cold as you like. You don’t even need to wash. Just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. Sit on the floor if you have to.

Moisturise everything.

Use whatever lotion you like.

Unscented? Supermarket lotion? Fancy 48 hour lotion that makes you smell like a field of wildflowers? Use whatever you want, and use it all over your entire dermis.

Put on clean, comfortable clothes.

Put on your favourite underwear.

Those ridiculous boxers you bought last Christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? Put them on.

Drink cold water.

Use ice. If you want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

Clean something.

Doesn’t have to be anything big. Organise one drawer of a desk. Wash five dirty dishes. Do a load of laundry. Scrub the bathroom sink.

Blast music.

Listen to something upbeat, lively and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. Sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

Make food.

Don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. Take the time and make food. Even if it’s ramen. Add something special to it, like a soft boiled egg or some veggies. Prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.

Make something.

Write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, colour a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. Even if you don’t think you’re good at it. Create.

Go outside.

Take a walk. Take your shoes and socks off and walk on the grass. Sit down. Ground yourself. Look at the clouds. Smell flowers. Put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

Call someone.

Call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. Talk to a stranger on the street. Have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. If you can’t bring yourself to call, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. Even if you don’t say much, listen to them. It helps.

Cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them.

Take pictures of them. Talk to them. Tell them how you feel, about your favourite movie, a new game coming out, anything.

May seem small or silly to some, but this list keeps people alive.

*** At your absolute best you won’t be good enough for the wrong people. But at your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right ones. Remember that. Keep holding on.

*** In case nobody has told you today I love you and you are worth your weight and then some in gold, so be kind to yourself and most of all keep pushing on!!!!

Find something to be grateful for!

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LISTEN

LISTEN (by Becky Hemsley 2020)

Image created with Dall-E

'Listen' is from Talking to the Wild

Is free to read on Kindle/unlimited

https://a.co/d/gyBBmgR

Listen when it’s raining

As the water hits the ground

And you’ll hear a million secrets

That are hidden in that sound

The pitter patter raindrops

Hold the whispered words inside

Of the people who have shared them

With the velvet midnight sky

The drops that pound the pavement

Spill out anger loud and harsh

They’re the words and thoughts of people

Who have cried beneath the stars

The rain that adds to oceans

And their vast capacious flow

Is the grief of people holding on

For fear of letting go

The waters flooding cities

Overwhelming homes and towns

Are the silent words of suffering

Entrusted to the clouds

And when the clouds are heavy

When our secrets fill the sky

When our thoughts are too oppressive

Then the Earth begins to cry

So listen when it’s raining

If you’re quiet then you’ll hear

All the secrets and emotions

That are muffled by Earth’s tears

******

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Thursday 21 September 2023

AND THEN IT IS WINTER

AND THEN IT IS WINTER (author unknown)

You know. . . time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.

It seems like only yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams. But, here it is... the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise...How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like. But, here it is...my friends are retired and getting grey...they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me...but, I see the great change....Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant...but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore... it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will... I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so...now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!

But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know, that when it's over on this earth...it's NOT over. A new adventure will begin!

Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done...things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime.

So, if you're not in your winter yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!

Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!

"Life" is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.

LIVE IT WELL! ENJOY TODAY! DO SOMETHING FUN! BE HAPPY! HAVE A GREAT DAY! REMEMBER:....

"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.

"LIVE HAPPY IN THIS YEAR AND EVERY YEAR!

LASTLY, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE SO - ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.

~Your kids are becoming you.......

~Going out is good.. Coming home is better!

~You forget names.... But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!

~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything

~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.

~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep".

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..

~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... "what?" . ???

~Now that you can afford expensive jewellery, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.

~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.

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IT’S STILL A PENNY

IT’S STILL A PENNY

(author Kristen Wakefield)

Love This Story, Enjoy!

“My dad used to say, ‘A penny is still a penny no matter how dirty it looks.’

Well, after he passed, I was feeling SAD for my loss. Speaking out loud I said, ‘I love you, Dad!’

Reaching for the car door I noticed a GLINT of light on the ground. It was a penny, new and beautiful!

I said, ‘Thanks Dad’!

The next day, I was waiting for a car tire to be replaced, still feeling sorry for myself. Again, I saw a GLINT of light on the ground.

This time I picked up the most DIRTY, DAMAGED, and STAINED PENNY ever seen. I pondered, ‘Keep it?’ ‘No, it’s ugly.’

Then, inside my mind, I heard Dad’s voice, ‘It's STILL WORTH a penny and IT'S FREE!’

The tire technician came out and announced that my car was ready to go. I asked him how much? He smiled: ‘It's part of our service … IT'S FREE!’

I've been saving every penny since then …

In today’s busy world and frightful economy, the effort to bend down to pick up a mere penny may seem worthless.

But, what if that GLINT … that somehow catches your eye… is a little doorway to a Godwink?

You wouldn’t want to miss that, would you?

Wishes for a precious penny’s worth of Godwinks today!

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